Stupid Portal
by Roninarnia
Summary: A bunch of characters come to my house from a stupid portal. Read and Review
1. My computer

**Sherlock and the various other shows belongs to their owners and I belong to...Hmmm...I'll get back to you.  
**

* * *

I walked down the stairs to see Sherlock Holmes sitting at MY computer.

"Sherlock."

He looked up "Good Morning Miss Roni. How are you?"

I replied "Annoyed. Why are you on my computer?"

"Why are you Annoyed?" Sherlock asked innocently.

I glared "Because you are on MY computer."

"How do you know its yours?"

I sighed and clutched my forehead "Because my Nana gave it to me for Christmas. How did you get on there anyways? Its password protected."

Sherlock tisked "Oh Roni your passwords are painfully easy to guess...Which reminds me you have 2 facebook messages."

I snarled "Get off my facebook!"

"How do you know its yours?"

"ARGHH!" I screamed and went into the kitchen.

John was in there already with The Doctor.

He looked at me sympathetically "Sherlock giving you a hard time?"

"Yes" I poured the cornflakes into a bowl and got the milk out of the fridge "You deserve 'the most patient person' award of THE CENTURY by the way."

John said "Thanks...I think."

* * *

The Doctor was sitting at the little table in the kitchen eating his breakfast: Fish sticks and custard.

I sat by him "Morning."

He grinned excitedly at me "Good morning Miss Roni!" He lathered a fish stick with custard and then ate it in two bites. Ew.

John sat by us with his toast and looked at the doctor weird "Why do you eat that?"

The Doctor pointed at John's toast "Why do you eat THAT?"

John opened his mouth then closed it "Okay then." He started eating his toast.

The Doctor hummed to himself as he ate "Yummy!"

Sherlock walked in and gave The Doctor a wide berth. The odd man had decided to poke Sherlock with his screwdriver every time he saw him.

The Doctor stood up and poked Sherlock "You cannot escape!"

The genius stiffened and put his toast down "Stop."

"Okay!"

Sherlock addressed me "I'm done with your computer Roni. By the way can you show me some Sherlock Fanart when you get on?"

"Anything to get you to behave."

The Doctor raised his hand and waved it around excitedly almost whacking John in the head "Oh,Oh,Oh! Can we look at pictures of those funny cats later?"

I sighed "Sure. Why not?"

"Yea!"

* * *

These characters ended up at my house because my Little brother Jonnie and I decided to build a portal.

Its important to know it wasn't supposed to work.

We were watching The Avengers and thought 'Hey lets build a portal and pretend to fight the aliens!'

So we went outside and started to build a portal.

We used metal scraps and sticks and a weird glowing ball that fell from the sky.

Then we added an old switch that dad had thrown out and some wires. We turned it on...

And nearly got flattened by a blue telephone booth.

The worst part is we can only turn it on so we've got people coming and going all the time.

The only constant visitors are: Sherlock, John Watson, The Doctor, several Disney characters, and Darth Maul.

Joy.

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**Read and Review please. At my house there are no cornflakes. This is merely wishful thinking on my part.**


	2. Crushes

**Sherlock and the various other shows belongs to their owners and I belong to...Hmmm...I'll get back to you.  
**

* * *

I walked in the kitchen.

Snow White smiled at me "Hello Roni! I did the dishes!"

"Wow...Thanks Snow."

She smiled at me "Your Welcome!"

I sighed deeply as I watched all the cartoon animals and birds clean the kitchen "Well you've got this covered..."

Sherlock walked in.

Snow waved at him as she scrubbed "Hello Sherlock!"

Sherlock turned and quickly walked out.

Snow looked confused "Whats wrong with Mister Holmes?"

I shrugged "Dunno. I'd better clean the dining room if your doing this."

"Okay! Hey Can I borrow that MP3 player so I can listen to music while I work?"

I dug through my pockets and handed it to her. I kept the MP3 player on me so she can listen to Hymn's and old songs without Darth Maul mocking them.

She started dancing around as she mopped and sang _"Children have you ever met the boogeyman before?"_

If only I was that clueless. How easy life would be.

* * *

I started to sweep the dining room. Sherlock was sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

John was sitting next to him. He nodded toward the kitchen "Its like an episode of the Twilight Zone in there."

I rolled my eyes "She's not that bad."

Sherlock spoke up "Roni's right Snow is not that bad so shush."

John and I stared at him.

John spoke "Thats a first."

I asked "How come I'm right suddenly? Usually you shout 'OBJECTION!' or something like that."

Sherlock avoided eye contact "No reason."

John and I grinned at each other.

I smirked "You LIKE her."

"No I don't!" Sherlock turned bright red.

John grinned "Yes you do! You think she's pretty!"

"OBJECTION!"

I said "Thats the Sherlock we know and tolerate."

Sherlock scowled at me and the still grinning John "I do not like her. She's just not that bad."

As if on cue Snow walked in "I'm just about to head back!"

She hugged me and John Then walked over to Sherlock.

Snow gave him a hug "Bye Mr. Holmes."

Sherlock seemed to turn red and his tongue seemed to be stuck "B-bye."

After we heard the portal make the noise it makes when people leave John and I fell over laughing.

Sherlock shouted "Shut up! Stop Laughing!"

Yeah right. It took us two days to finally get to the point we wouldn't giggle at Sherlock or Snow every time we saw them.

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**Read and Review please. Believe it or not the song Snow sings was a real song around the 1930's written by Henry Hall.**


	3. The Mystery of The Pizza Boxes part 1

**Sherlock and the various other shows belongs to their owners and I belong to...Hmmm...I'll get back to you.  
**

**Don, Raphael, and Mikey are from TMNT 2012 version.  
**

* * *

I picked up the empty Pizza boxes and said "The next person who orders Pizza will be wearing it if they do not clean up their boxes." I looked meaningfully at Mikey, Raphael, and Don "Got it?"

Mikey shrugged "Okay but you can't prove it was us."

"I can't. Sherlock can." I picked up the last box and handed the stack off to Raphael "Here."

He didn't take them "What makes you think I want them Munchkin?"

I let the insulting nickname slide "You made the mess so you throw out the boxes."

He "You can't prove it was me. Besides I couldn't eat 30 pizza's by myself."

I set the boxes down and began dividing them into piles of 10.

Don asked "Ummm...What are you doing?"

I handed the piles to each of the brothers "You ALL made the mess so you ALL take it out."

Raphael protested "But you can't prove it!"

"Nobody else in this house eats Pizza."

Mikey said "Gaz does."

We all looked at Gaz who was playing the Wii with The Doctor.

I added "Yeah but Gaz can only eat one Pizza at a time. Face it guys YOU made the mess. Now throw out the boxes."

Don folded his arms "Not until you prove it was us."

"Ugh" I facepalmed "Fine. I'll go get Sherlock."

Raphael stopped me "Not so fast short stuff. If you want to prove it was us you need to do it WITHOUT the brainiacs help."

I put my hands on my hips "Only if you promise not to use him to help prove it WASN'T you."

"Deal." We all shook hands and went to get different people to help us.

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**Read and Review please.**


	4. The Mystery Of the Pizza Box part 2

**Sherlock and the various other shows belongs to their owners and I belong to...Hmmm...I'll get back to you.  
**

**Don, Raphael, and Mikey are from TMNT 2012 version.  
**

**Dipper and Mabel are from Gravity Falls  
**

* * *

Since I had been cut off from asking Sherlock for help I decided to ask Dipper, Mabel, and The Doctor for help.

I stood in front of them "Okay We have exactly two days to prove the turtles ate 30 boxes of pizza and then left them lying around."

Dipper raised his hand.

"Yes Dipper?"

He asked "Why two days?"

I explained "Because in two days it will be trash day."

Dipper nodded "Oh...Okay Mabel and I are in...I guess."

Mabel grinned "Absolutely Roni! What was it you wanted again?"

The Doctor shrugged "I've got nothing more exciting planned...I'm in!"

I sighed "Greeeaat. Lets go guys."

* * *

I wound up having Mabel as a partner.

Even if It turns out that I am painfully unable to prove the turtles done it at least I'll be entertained.

The first thing we did was walk to the Pizza place down the street. Basically you would call in, they would make the pizza, and then you would walk/drive over and pick it up.

Since its uncommon for a person to order 30 pizza's at once we figured they could give us a description of the person.

A girl who's name tag read 'Sadie' spoke to us because she thought our 'game was cute' "Well yeah somebody did order 30 pizza's. A little purple haired girl came and picked them."

As we walked out Mabel said "Which girl has purple hair?"

I thought about it "Not many Anime characters visit...I think it might have been Gaz."

* * *

**Dipper POV**

The Doctor and I decided to cover Forensic Evidence since Roni is only good at profiling people and Mabel... Is very good at getting people to tell her things so she will leave.

I looked at the Pizza boxes.

Just your average pizza boxes. Nothing fancy.

I looked up at odd man "Can that screwdriver of yours take fingerprints?"

He grinned "It sure can!"

The Doctor pointed the screwdriver at the boxes and a purplish blue light scanned the boxes.

He then pointed it at the turtles. After the light had scanned them we looked at the screen.

It read 'NEGATIVE'.

The Doctor scowled "Is this thing broken?"

He shook it and tried again.

The screen still said 'NEGATIVE'.

I noticed Gaz playing her Gameslave "Hey try pointing it at Gaz."

The Doctor nodded "Alright."

This time the screen read 'POSITIVE'. Even after The Doctor shook it nine times.

We stared at each other.

The Doctor spoke "Since you are the youngest you must speak to Gaz."

I stared "What? She likes you and hates me!"

"She only likes me when I play games with her."

I sighed "Alright."

As I made my way over Gaz looked up and gave me a frozen glare "What do you want Pines?"

I stopped "Umm...Did you pick up 30 pizza's?"

Gaz seemed nervous. Weird. "Uhhh...Ummm..."

She sighed "Yes. The guy that paid me said he's buy me the Gameslave 900 if I brought and ate those boxes and left them for Roni to find."

The Doctor had come over by this time "You ATE 30 pizza's?"

"Yeah. I threw it all up though."

The Doctor wrinkled his nose "Ew."

I asked "Do you know who bribed you?"

Gaz said quickly "No!"

The Doctor added "Did you know there is no Gameslave 900?"

Gaz stared at us as dying noises game from her game "What? HE LIED TO ME?!"

The little girl suddenly grew fangs and claws AND spat out flames.

The Doctor and I stepped back nervously.

Gaz then screamed in this weird voice "THE LOSER WILL PAY!"

Wooow.

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**Read and Review please.**


	5. Intermission: Rules to live by

**Sherlock and the various other shows belongs to their owners and I belong to...Hmmm...I'll get back to you.  
**

**I have terrible writers block and so I'm writing a random chapter as a... sort of break.**

**Enjoy  
**

**Oh and if anybody has ANY idea's for the pizza mystery please PM me okay?  
**

**Also if anyone has any idea's for more rules for the characters please PM me.  
**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Here is a list of rules for the Characters that I have made up. I have 20 copies all over the place but just in case I am writing it in here too.

**1. Ringwraiths Sleep OUTside.**

I glared at the Ringwraith "You!"

It stared at me.

"You destroyed the couch!"

It hung its head.

"AND the beds!"

It started to make a whimpering noise.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

It hissed "But Roni I Thought I saw a spider!"

And thus Ringwraiths where banished to the outdoors.

**2. Orcs also sleep OUTSIDE.**

I lifted Mabel out of the large cooking pot and cleaned her off best I could.

I glared at the orcs after I sent Mabel to the shower "Children are NOT food."

The smallest Orc Piped "But they taste so good!"

The Orcs are condemned to stay outside and hunt deer and rabbit.

The small Orc has mysteriously vanished.

**3. Epic Battles of good and evil happen OUTSIDE!**

I stare at the mess.

The dining room table has been destroyed.

The books are ripped.

All over the house there is a chaotic mess.

I turn to glare at Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Batwoman, The Joker, Two Face, and The Scarecrow "YOU SEVEN!"

They froze.

"CLEAN THIS UP!"

**4. Sherlock is NOT allowed to shoot walls. **

I stared at the holes in the walls "Who did this?"

Sherlock pointed at John "He did it."

**5. We will be polite the the 2004 version of Strawberry Shortcake and her friends.**

Strawberry smiled at Zim, Dib and Dipper.

"Hi I'm Strawberry! Its Berry Berry nice to meet you! Lets be forever friends!"

The three boys ran away screaming "AHHHH!"

**6. Those who torment the cartoon animals deserve to get bitten.**

I bandaged Darth Maul's Arm up "And what have we learned?"

He sighed "If I pick on Duchess's kittens long enough she will bite me."

"And?"

"And the other Disney beasts will attack me."

7. **It is NOT appropriate to sing randomly in Public.**

I was out shopping with John Watson, Cinderella, and Aurora.

As I picked out the fruit I heard the two ladies singing:

_A: "Shopping!"_

_C:"Oh the joy of shopping!"  
_

_Both: "Fruits and Vegatables! Junk food toooo!"  
_

_A:"Shopping!"  
_

_C:"Oh the Joys of Shopping!"  
_

John sang "_Please stop singing NOOOW!"_

He gasped and covered his mouth _"Oh no! Its happening to me tooooo!"_

To make a long son...I mean story short the Disney cast wait until _later_ to sing.

**8. When you stay here please bag your own laundry  
**

I stared at the old fashinoed pair of underwear.

"Snow?"

"Yes Miss?"

"Are...These yours?" I held them out for her to see.

"Oh yes Miss! I'm sorry they must have gotten mixed up!"

The next thing I found was a sith robe "Darth Maul?"

He came over and wordlessly took it.

I found a ball-cap and trench coat "Dipper and Dib? Come and get your things please!"

They both ran over "Sorry Roni!"

"Won't happen again!"

It was nearly two hours before I could do my own laundry.

**9. You cannot keep Giant Spiders as pets. (Zim)**

I freed Dib from the web and glared at Zim who was trying (Without Success) to hide Shelob behind his back

"Send her back Zim."

"YOU CANNOT TELL THE INCREDIBLE ZIM OR HIS LEGGY MONSTER WHAT TO DO!"

"Get it out of here Zim or I'll shoot the dang thing." I loosed Dora from the next bundle "Oh and clean up this mess after I've saved everyone."

**10. Ben Ten is not allowed to be an Irken.  
**

****Ben screamed in his Irken form as he rolled around in a puddle.

Zim stared "Wow...Do I really look that stupid?"

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**Read and Review please.**


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